I’m new to this world of blogging and still trying to figure it all out. Sometimes, all I want to do is simply write and say hello. If you find yourself coming across my post, please leave me a little note with feedback and thoughts you may have. Did you find my writing style pleasant and easy to read? Did you like the topic?
I’m sorting through my office mess these days, sometimes I wonder how did the paper tiger get so wild and crazy? I have mountains of nothingness all over my basement office space. It always amuses me because as a legal and executive assistant, I was always so hyper organized and clean at work. Now it seems a bit of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde split personality has come upon me though it wasn’t always this way. I ask myself why I’m not giving myself the excellent service I gave to others. Every now and then, I stumble upon a paper that makes me pause and think that I’ve come a long way and still have lots of room for self-improvement. Certainly, we all could take some time to contemplate and reflect on how we can better be of service to ourselves in the midst of our serving others in our daily grind.
To be totally open and honest about it, I was always too controlled and organized–even in my private space–that is, up until my early 30s came along. I’d had a difficult childhood and my teen and early adult years were often a struggle but in my early 30s the chaos of my youth came rushing back into my life in a way which was irreversible and my whole perspective on priorities and “what matters most” really changed.
Nowadays, I’m examining different topics that I could be writing about but I always come back to sensitive psychological issues. The internet poses a difficult problem for us human beings. We sometimes are totally open and transparent when interacting in cyberspace but in doing so, we make ourselves vulnerable and subject to being ridiculed or hurt by others who are less caring than we are. I find this dichotomy rather scary but at the same time, I feel the rush of the idea of this freedom of being 100% myself which is rather addictive.
There’s a tangible contrast between who I am and who I represent and above all, I’d really like to merge the two and become wholly one singular person. It seems to me a struggle. Humanity is fluid and personality as reflected on the internet is subject to moods and situational contexts. Somehow, I want to liberate myself from the constraints of trying to prove anything to anyone but find myself doubting my ability to do so. Filtering ourselves for public consumption is probably for the better than it is for the worse.
I would like to just be myself without the repercussions and variables of others saying that they didn’t like what I had to say. This is after all just my opinion, not the Magna Carta. I invite people to disagree with me if they feel they want to but I would of course prefer that they do so without being disagreeable.
Let me know what you think. I’d like to have good, robust and healthy dialogue with loving and intelligent people who actually take the time to consider others, not just think of themselves. Each and every day I find myself putting others first and sometimes it seems to me that it would be nice to feel less constricted by various types of societal norms. Therefore, don’t be surprised if one day I’m Dr. Jekyll and other days I’m Mr. Hyde. In reality, I am immensely attracted to the best of both sides: The Beauty and The Beast.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me and others who will stop by to read out of pure curiosity, joy and wonder.